Naturally, I am insecure.
Insecurity can show itself in many ways, but for me it has always been about approval. As the second born in a family of confident leaders I did not seem to fit in. I cried when I got my first “B” in elementary school. I refused to try out for solos or special parts in the choir in fear of rejection. I took criticism very personally and had a hard time moving on from past hurts. Nothing in particular made me this way. It’s simply who I am, so I determined it to be ok.
Each of us have something that makes us unique. Even if you cannot think of one thing that sets you a part, you are made up of a composite of things that make you, you. As early as primary school, we learn that each of us are special and rob the world of something divine when we pose as someone other than ourselves. Even the bible tells us in I Corinthians 12 that just as our body is made up of many parts but work together as one, we too, though possessing different gifts, are equal in value to the body of Christ. While this school of thought is very empowering, when mistreated, it creates a huge problem, which, in my opinion, is one of the biggest in Christendom.
The problem with this ideology is that it abandons the mandate of Christ found in John 3, where he explains the need for us to be born again. This rebirth has been necessary since the fall of Adam and Eve and we see the pursuit of it from that day forth. No wonder Abram’s name was changed to Abraham; Sarai’s name was changed to Sarah; Jacob’s name was changed to Israel; Saul’s name was changed to Paul. God used them as they were but not before they were given a new identity as His followers. They, like us, were required to die to themselves and embrace a brand new way of life.
You may be asking, ‘So after accepting Christ, how much of the old me can I keep?’ Or ‘How do I even know what part of me needs to die?’
The part of us that needs to die is actually pretty straight forward. It’s the part of us that does not look like Christ. We are charged to reflect Christ (2 Corinthians 3:18) and to adopt His mind as our own (Philippians 2). Although made to individually contribute to the world we are to do so as representatives of the Most High. This new birth may affect: the way we speak, the way we dress, our eating habits, our sexuality, our thoughts, our weekend plans, or our overall disposition, just to name of few. For me, it means dying to insecurity. It means facing insecure thoughts knowing as a new creature in Christ I am qualified for any task. It means knowing my value even if no one pats me on the back. It means accepting my failures and my victories knowing in Christ I always win. It means trusting that His version of me is the best me I could ever be.
What part of you needs to die?